going back to work

My first day back at work was Wednesday last week. When I went back to work with Ry, a co- worker said to me that she was sure I'd cry every single day because she cried every day she left her little girl for MONTHS. With Ry I didn't shed a single tear. Wednesday morning I got up and got colton and Ry ready to go to Melissas like I had been doing every Friday for the last month of trial runs. That morning Colton was SO smiley and happy looking at me when I got him in Daddy's truck it broke my heart because in my mind he was thinking "yay we get to go out with Mommy and Daddy!!!" I teared up a bit but sucked it up and got in my car and drove off to work. He was totally fine for Melissa, which was a major relief because those past few Fridays he gave her a hard time. However Rex wasn't so lucky. Rex gets home around 5 with both boys and I dont get home until 6. He called me about 15 minutes before I got home and I hear Colton SCREAMING his head off in the background. That happened both Wednesday and Thursday, Friday I got home a bit early and he was sleeping in his carseat when I got home.

I think Ry has had a hard time adjusting to not having me at home when he gets home from daycare. At least I hope he just needs adjusting. He's been so naughty these days. I just don't know what to do with him. This morning he finished his oatmeal so I asked him if he wanted toast and he had a heart attack when  I put jelly on it, saying he wanted "the brown one" I have no idea what that means but I ate his jelly covered toast because he wasn't eating it. He then freaked out that I ate his toast. I had new toast for him in the toaster and he followed me into the kitchen screaming at me "you ate it! you ate it all!" I tried apologizing and telling him he was getting new toast but he kept screaming and crying. I walked out of the kitchen and he followed me continuing to yell and scream. I went into my bedroom and he followed me I went to get the toast which was now ready, and I put it on his napkin, he screamed that he didn't want it and continued to cry so I told him to go to his room if he was going to cry. He wouldnt go, he just kept following me and crying. So I went in his room and he followed me, I shut the door behind him. He stayed there for a while but then came out screaming at me some more so I put him back in his room and put the baby gate up in the hall so he couldnt follow me anymore. I went into my room with Colton and lay down feeding him. Ry knocked the baby gate over and cried in the hallway for a while and then came into my room sobbing saying "I be a good boy mommy, I be a good boy" He didn't eat his toast but he stopped crying at least.

Somehow today I cleaned my entire house, had lunch with my mom, took both boys grocery shopping and made dinner and had my dad over. AND it was bath night! I go back to work tomorrow so that should be a nice break. I could never be a stay at home mom.